This could be read...

You know.. i hadn't really put much thought into what happens to all the words i type into "my blog"... key word would be "my"... you see, i come here and get stuff off my chest, i had not put much forward thinking into the fact that when someone types something into a search engine, they could be led here to- Rachaels Place.. not like it will change what i write about..

so i wonder have you ever read something that you should not have?? i was talking to a friend the other day and she told me she snoops in her daughters room and reads her diary.. i was a little blown away at first.. but then i thought, is it really that bad? would you do it ?? i would have been crushed if i knew my mum was reading my diary, i ended up throwing them all out from that very fear, the fear of ANYONE reading it, not just "the Mother"..i reflect back on the things i used to write about, and what i miss the most is my poetry.. in fact, it is a regret that i binned it..  only something a twisted teenage mind could dream up..

what would you do with the info after you read it.. man my mum probably would have had my locked up..

so are you a snooper?

its been a while..

it's been a while since i stopped by.. Facebook land has consumed me.. i have found so many of my school mates, it's been a real trip..

the olympics always triggers memories of my father.. he was an olympian.. he rowed, the rowing is on the tv right now..  the aussie double just won gold, yay for them, they totally earnt it..  my dad won a silver.. you can google him- Stuart Alexander Mackenzie- ... just wish he would talk to me..

i feel like such a twat, blabbing on about my dad, after all i am a grown woman.. i am wondering if all the feelings i am feeling are normal.  but i tell myself boo hoo harden up..

the aussie fours just one silver..

okay gotta go and learn whats new in msn land....

Life is Great

well i passed my first assignment at tafe, yay me!! heaps of people had to resubmit but not me, So now all i have to do is pass the next one.. Its on Attempts- and i have chosen Attempted Rape. i guessed it was easy after having some knowledge on that topic- not nice.. its much more fun when you say yes...

Moving in three weeks, what a hassle, but the best part about the new place is i can put my GYM up, i have been hanging out to punch/kick the shitter out of my Bag. And the monaro will have a place to sleep out of the weather, the poor old girl has got a bit more cancer this winter but with any luck we will be able to work on it and get her a new skin (paint job). there is a resident possum, i hope Mufusa leaves it alone, i don't think i could handle dead possum on the back doorstep-AGAIN... Brutis was bad enough- god love his soul.. sigh.. i miss my puppies...

Jade got gold in her Music Performance with the school band. the little champion... 

Kevin had his wings clipped so now he comes out to play heaps more, i love having him out of the cage..

yay its Saturday, think i will pack the esky and go to the park with the foot ball after i bath the monaro..

god bless you all, and for any readers that stop by and don't believe in god he forgives you...

How time flies!!

G'day world! well its nice to address the world even if no-one reads this dribble.....heheheh!!

Well my daughter Jade gave me an update all of her own the other day, she annouced that its her birthday in two weeks time, not that i had forgotten but that also means that summer is just around the corner...Yippy- fishing, swimming, beach and more sport than any man or woman could watch... ahhh i really love summer!!!

Tafe is going well, i handed in my first assignment the other day. It was a challenge but hey without challenges we can never truly see what we are made of!! Lets pray it doesn't come back with a resubmit attached to it... the next one we need to do is on Attempts... this one is requiring much more thought.

Open day is next weekend at the Academy, so i am going to sus out the ins-n-outs of becoming a Police Officer. I am pretty keen to make this happen as i hate to fail.. thats not to say i haven't failed before, i have.. and i have failed with such style it was brilliant...

Well the yucky sickness has hit Brisvagas real hard this year, Jade has been down with the green nose and sore throat, and now Jason has the Spewing bug... let's pray i don't get either of them, and with all the suppliments i jamb in my mouth i would be pretty pissed if i do get sick!!!

We are moving again in a few weeks, this should be where we stay for a while all going to plan.. the most exciting thing about the new house is that i can have my gym up, the outdoor area is massive.. and with the way i have been feeling i could even look at getting back in the Ring.

Life is great get out there and LIVE IT..

Mate against Mate...

Its the first game of the State of Origin tonight, New South Wales against Queensland.... I was born in N.S.W. and have lived in queensland for the last 12 years... My daughter Jade is a "Queenslander" as she was born here... But my genetic code says that i will go for 'The Blues' (N.S.W) forever..

This is one of eastern Australias biggest football comps... It is a best of three affair. And i can almost be certain that there will be alot of sore heads tomorrow at work as us Aussies see it as a great time to get really drunk and scream at the television

Personally.... I can't wait for the hang over as it will be easy to handle coz The Blues are going to kick arse...

I HOPE!!!!!

Face it and win...

You know it maybe hard to really understand the constant battle that goes on within oneself.... Have you ever stopped and really listened to what is going on inside your head? Are you quick to temper? Do you see the bad before the good? Do you judge other people by the clothes they wear, or how they speak? Or the company they keep?

When you are faced with a challenge how do you handle it? Do you hide from it or face up to it? Have you ever found yourself looking to the heavens and asking what is 'it' all about?

I recently had to take a long look at the way i do things. The way i think the way i speak and the way i think about things that effect me...

Have you ever found yourself saying and thinking bad stuff, like when the guy in the car in front of you is constantly on his brake for no good reason... or when you feel as though the whole world is against you that you just want to run and hide...Just a few days ago i typed the most amazing blog (if i do say so myself)... and then the computer froze... i wanted to chuck the biggest tanti but i thought where will it get me??

Food for thought... how would you live today if you knew that there was not a tomorrow... Do you live in the world ?? Do you look forward or backwards?? Do you forgive others??

I always think about the cartoons that have the angel and devil pop up on the characters shoulders.... Which voice are you listening too???

Birthday Trip...

When something you love is taken away...

its been so long since i have blogged, and no-one stops by anyways so i can be sure what i write will make no difference anywys...

it has been quite an interesting year so far. i have a cool job-which i thought i would never be doing- i have some parts of me back that i thought i would never see again. my Jadey is going up and is really starting to shine, her confidence is going everyday and she seems to be happy with life. and i suppose the biggest thing that has happened to me i have experienced some major loss in my life.. My dogs were taken away from my house. yes they did something wrong and i can't change that but it still hurts when they have been a part of your life for soo long and everything that you have thought about has put the dogs first, like where to live and yard size putting how much it will cost me last. well i have paid the ultimate price now i had to surrender them on the 17th of April, this was one of the hardest things i have done. i am getting all teary thinking about them.

I suppose i should explain on the random chance that someone stops by and happen to read this blog...

My dogs Brutis and Carrie broke out of the yard on Saturday morning and attacked another dog whilst it was been walked past on a lead..... the dog died at the vets after having extentive work done on it. the cops turned up to take action and took Brutis to the police station and carrie ran home, they both were picked up and taken to the animal shelter-- i was at my bros for the weekend and had no idea this had happened, i had arranged home care for the dogs and they had never broken out of the yard before, so i was not to know that this would happen. they were declared dangerous and an order was issued to me that they were to be put down... i could have got them back but i was required to be sure that they would never do it again... how could  be so sure i never thought they would get out the first time let alone any other times after. Plus all the council fines pending.. fuck this all is making me fell sick. i miss there happy wagging tails at the door when i get home from work, i miss playing tag with them, i miss there presence, protection and companionship.  i have lost two of my 'kids' and it has taken a few days to set in...

i love God , Jesus and have the Holy Spirit in me...

i was baptised on the 12th of November with my daughter Jade.. it was very cool..

I am so blessed..

Peace and God Bless

10 years old today

at 12.30pm 10 years ago taday, i was blessed with a beautiful daughter 'Jade Therese'

she is my Angel.

Steve Irwin

today has been marked by the death of an Australian Icon- Steve Irwin.

This was a man who opened the eyes of the world

my heart goes out to Terry, Bindi and Bob- and all who work at Australia Zoo... esp Di my dear friend.

this is a very sad day..

pussy bum lips..

stopped by to leave a message in cyber land... it probably wont make much sence but thats ok coz nobody reads it anyways 

shitty stuff happened when we weren't at home the other day, the dogs had a major fight. its a guessing game to know what started it. They are all ok- well sorta-.... so now what to do with the crazy dogs that need to be kept apart?

Mark bought ANOTHER car!! so that is now one for each day of the week.. but on the up side to that we are looking to down size the 'everyday' car, i have put in my request- it has met a fair amount of resistance but i am quietly confident that i will get the one i want...

Jade is growing up so fast, she will be ten in 4 days time. makes me feel older when she has a birthday..

We are going to see Olivia for her 5th birthday, which will be very cool coz i need a holiday.. Can't wait to see my sis and Rob.. will be a good chance for Mark to have some timeout and have a long hard think about where we are heading..

i am busting to go see my brother 'Al', but i wont be taking the bad dogs with me.. which is sad coz brutal enjoys a run in the bush. but i would never forgive myself if hurt Als dogs.

well i am hungry so it time to eat.

leave a message if you stop by.

sore and swollen.

i have heard it said, that you can tell the life someone has had by looking at their hands....

well as i sit here in the dark, with only the light from my computer screen lighting my hands

i am not surprised by the hill and valley appearence across my knuckles

and veins that perturd from the skin like a white ant trail

the many rows of spliting skin open and close with ever push of the key

i also have a rather large hole on my left index finger where the puppy tooth sunk so deep the blood oozed a deep red..

and my hands are swollen like balloons ready to burst - well not quite that bad but you get my point, they are swollen... ok moving on!

But life is great, i have food, shelter, loved ones and pets, transport and coins in a piggy bank

i have friends & foe coz thats how life goes

so when i look at my hands i am blessed.....

there is nothing  really wrong..

stopped by to say hello to you if your reading this... you should leave me a message...

you should buy a puppy from me...

smile at random people it makes them smile back..

ants never sleep.

we all will die some day, are you ready?

JEALOUS..

I never felt so alone

as i did when i looked in your phone

i knew it was wrong @ the time

but with nothing to hide, everything will be fine

but to my surprise- my worst nightmares realised

there it was a message from K

my heart is racing, beating through my chest

hands are shaking and tears are braking....

i told you i was jealous and insecure

you said i was over reacting,

 but offer no words to appease

 well try put yourself i my shoes

how would you have reacted??

so much hurt so much pain

why do i feel that my love is in vane.